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Those who mourn will be comforted

July 15, 2011

Blessed are those who mourn. They will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Loss…   

Tears.  Shock.  Tears.  Questions.  Grief.  Peace.  Comfort.

The unexpected phone call and trip to the hospital.  Three days of praying and hoping my brother will wake up.  Sitting by his bed.  Holding the hand of his unconscious body.  I feel his hand lightly squeeze mine just as the nurse says, “He’s gone.”  Is it possible that he squeezed my hand “good-bye” or was it something I imagined because I wanted it so much?  It seemed so real.  I felt him say “good-bye”.  My heart is broken.  Jesus is there to help me put the pieces together again.

The diagnoses is terminal.  Cancer.  Hospital trips.  Surgeries.  Hope.  More time.  Not enough. Discouragement.  My step father; a father to me since I was nine… in pain.  Long road.  A phone call.  It’s him.  He is tired.  He is weary from the battle.  He is ready for peace.  To enter into his rest.  He is gone.  My heart is broken.  Jesus is there to help me put the pieces together again.

Her beautiful blue eyes still have their sparkle.  They are surrounded by the aged skin of a long and full life.  My nana.  My anchor.  The body that has served her well is shutting down.  Doctors appointments.  Hospital trips.  She keeps her humor and spunk. I know time is short.  We gather around her bed.  One by one she leaves us with her final words of love.  It’s my turn.  She draws me close.  Her eyes filled with love and tears welling up.  She whispers to me, “I love you so much.  I won’t see you again here in this world.”  She sleeps through the night.  I return in the morning and enter her room.  She is unconscious.  I take her hand and tell her I am there.  The nurse says, “She is gone.”  My heart is broken.  Jesus is there to help me put the pieces together again. 

My heart is never the same.  The cracks of my broken heart are filled with the grace and mercy of God.  My broken heart makes way for more compassion to fill me.  Comfort.  Peace that surpasses all understanding. 

This writing on ‘Loss’ is   Linked with 5 Minute Fridays

 

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2011 12:51 am

    I’m so sorry to read of your loss. This post is beautiful.

    Cxx

  2. July 15, 2011 4:39 am

    I love how you ended each paragraph, “Jesus is there to help me put the pieces together again.” Beautiful words.

  3. July 15, 2011 5:12 am

    It is my loss that has drawn me closer to the Lord…it seems yours has done the same.

    Thank you and God bless,
    Michael

  4. July 15, 2011 6:32 pm

    Thanks for writing through the pain. If you’ve ever felt loss and found rest in Jesus your words ring true. Heaps of blessings!

  5. July 24, 2011 3:58 pm

    Such beautiful words to describe such pain.

  6. August 5, 2011 11:14 am

    Thank you for the beauty and transparency of this…and the cracks in our hearts do leave more room for His compassion to flow in…just beautiful!

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