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Tuesday’s Tips ~ Marriage

April 13, 2010

Me and My Hubby ~ Lifelong Love

 Kurt and I have been married for 24 years. 

 Everyone begins a marriage with hopes of lifelong success… easier said than done.

  But it CAN  be done! 

  •   Forgive 

No matter how wonderful your Prince Charming is, there are bound to be moments when he lets you down.  Whether it’s a small offense or a huge wound God’s grace helps us to extend the same forgiving love to our spouses as God himself has shown to us.  Forgiveness clears the slate to build a beautiful future together.  Forgive him and move on in love.

  • Grow Together

Marriage is intended to be a lifelong partnership.  For that reason, we must understand that if we desire to stay committed to the same person throughout the seasons of life, we must be willing to embrace and welcome change that growth can sometimes bring.   Be truly interested when your husband has a new idea, finds a new hobby or just developes a new interest.  Grow and learn and change together.   

  • Laugh

Enjoy Life!  Enjoy the “we don’t have any kids” season.  Enjoy the “Oh my gosh, I’m pregnant” season.  Enjoy the “Oh yeah, that right, I’m still a wife not just a mommy” season.  Enjoy the “kids are all grown up and out of the house” season.  Enjoy “Oh, so the kids decided to come back home” season.  Enjoy it ALL!   And laugh out loud as often as possible.  🙂

  • Pray

Whether you do this together or separately is not as important as just making sure that you do it!  Prayer has never been known to destroy a marriage, but it has definitely saved quite a few.  Including mine.  Although I have wonderful prayer times together with my husband, there was a time early in our marriage that was not the case.  The majority of my prayer time for my marriage is just me and God, and I’ve come to find it works out quite well that way.  Prayer doesn’t always bring an immediate change to the situation, however it always brings an immediate change to my heart and perspective.

  • Biggest Fan

One of the benefits of marriage is partnership.  Knowing that at least one person out there is going to have your back.  Be that person for your husband.  Be his biggest fan!  Talk him up… brag on him a little or a lot!  And don’t just be a fair weather fan either, when the chips are down, stick like glue. 

  • Get Intimate

Intimacy in marriage is important.  Don’t convince yourself that it’s not, because it is.  Nuff said.

  • Space

Respect his space when he needs it.  Be a confident and trusting person.  Your marriage will bloom.

  • Love Language

Understand that everyone receives love and extends love very differently.  What might show love to you, may not ever register on his radar.  Basically, there are five love languages.  Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Touch, Quality Time, Words of Encouragement.  All five are important and necessary.  Numbering them in order of importance will reveal the way each of you feels the most loved. Get to know yours because more than likely that is how you feel the most comfortable extending love and then get to know your husband’s because like it or not, that’s how he will feel loved by you.  By the way, my husband and I did this many years ago and guess what?  My top love language was his bottom choice and his top love language was my bottom choice.  Yet, we have been married for almost 24 years, it can be done!

  • Thank You

As days turn into months and months into years it can become easy to take for granted the little things.  We can begin to look at things as just what is expected rather than showing true gratitude.  Shock the socks off your hubby and show him a little appreciation for all the things he does that have just become expected.  Never underestimate the power of these two little words “Thank you”.  

  • Nothing Compares

 Do NOT under any circumstances compare your marriage to someone else’s.  Just as genuinely unique you are so is your marriage.  Others can provide helpful tips that have worked for their marriage, however nothing compares to the special one of a kind relationship you have in your marriage.  That’s part of the fun… figuring it all out, together, one day at a time. 

 Linked to OH AMANDA – TOP TEN

 

Linked  We are THAT Family

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. April 14, 2010 12:50 am

    Thank you for the marriage tips. All so true and we always need a helpful reminder like this.

    • April 14, 2010 10:50 am

      Maui Blog~

      I am so glad the reminders were helpful to you! 🙂 As I was writing this post the tips were a great reminder to me too.

      Blessings and thanks so much for taking the time to comment.

      Danise

  2. April 14, 2010 10:09 am

    No wonder you have been married for over 2 decades when so many others give up after just a few years. My husband and I will be married 30 years this coming November. We dated 9 years prior to that so, as you can see, we’re together nearly 40 years. (Yes, we were high school sweethearts.) I love your ‘laughing together’ and ‘biggest fan’ suggestions. Frankly, I think one of the reasons Mike and I have lasted so long is that we are just plain ‘nice’ to each other. Not to say we don’t have our grouchy times (who doesn’t) but it isn’t generally a part of our lives to act snide or sarcastic. I don’t get couples who pick on each other and think it is funny, do you? We really do enjoy each other’s company!

    • April 14, 2010 10:57 am

      Mom2fur~

      Congrats on nearly 40 years together! My hubby and I were high school sweethearts too! I agree with you, choosing our attitude and words with consideration toward eachother is very important. Kurt and I haven’t always done a great job of that… but thankfully we both know the words “I’m sorry” and we choose to forgive, move on and enjoy life together. 🙂

      Blessings to you and Mike, keep up the great testimony!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      Danise

  3. Kayla permalink
    April 14, 2010 11:35 am

    These are great tips. My favorite is just knowing someone has your back. It is not hard to be encouraging!

    Thanks for taking time to write this.

    Kayla
    (Going on 19 years–married, that is not age. Though I do wish I had my 19 year old self’s stomach… sigh.)

    • April 15, 2010 6:53 am

      Kayla~

      It is so true a little thing like encouragement can be such a huge blessing in our marriages. Congrats on 19 years! And I know what you mean, I would love to have my 19 year old stomach too!

      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment!

      Blessings to you and your hubby,
      Danise

  4. April 15, 2010 6:46 am

    this is a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing!

    And seriously my jaw dropped when I read you’d been married for almost 24 years! You do not look Nearly old enough for that to be possible–you guys are so youthful!

    • April 15, 2010 6:57 am

      Melanie~

      Thanks so much for your very generous compliments, but believe me I AM old enough (almost 45 years old)
      But I have to say your sweet comments made my day, so Thank you!

      I’m glad the post was a blessing to you. Thanks for stopping by and blessing my day.

      Danise

  5. April 17, 2010 7:04 am

    Blessings to you and Kurt, too!

  6. May 23, 2010 2:14 am

    “Yeah, I’ll take one of those marriages please!” You are so inspiring Danise. I need to read about the reality of Christian marriage not just hear about the knight-in-shining-armor fairy tale. Something tells me there’s a lot more to this whole relationship thing than being treated like a princess. Please keep on writing about this stuff so I can reference your wisdom instead of the multitude of terrible “just-divorce-him!” advice websites out there! Love you.

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